I’m getting carried away with this doodling now!

Names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.

Every year we go on a local Treasure hunt, and every year we lose abysmally. The first because we had only recently moved from Kent and got hopelessly lost on the moors. Another year, because we didn’t know the rules and took all the landmarks, for which we were disqualified for cheating. Yet another year we were following another car around thinking we must have been on the right track, only to find out that they were hopelessly lost!

Last year we followed our usual pattern. It went something like this…..

Mo and I had Pat and Roger with us.

Roger: in charge of the map – Roger who is notorious for saying “Take a left” when he actually means take a right!

Pat: in charge of the sheet of clues – Pat who is notorious for having the ability to cover ten subjects in one sentence, without actually ever finishing the sentence!

Mo: in charge of driving – Mo who can, and often needed to, spin the car on a sixpence.

Me: In charge of trying to decipher what Pam was saying. Not an easy task, trying to weed out bits of the clue amongst the several different subjects, and shouts of “Roger, what are you doing!” and “No Roger, that’s wrong!”

The story starts.

We started off, map and clues in hand and drove off to the first point, answered the clue and promptly drove to point 2. This was going to be a doddle. Two clues down and going well. We set off to number 3 on the map. We soon realized it was the same place as point No.1. We had to drive all the way back again. Now, at this point the map and list of clues were firmly grasped by Pat and Roger and we were never to see them again.

We got to point No 3 to find other cars on the hunt there also, so we had made good time…. until then. The other cars all left, one by one, and we were still there. I said “Lets go, we can always look at that clue later, but we may not need to anyway.” This was a ‘crossword’ type treasure hunt that led to three car parts, so one missed answer wouldn’t be a problem. Pat would not give up and continued to dither around (like only Pat can) for another five minutes. Now we were playing catch up – or were we?

Point No 4 on the map was – you’ve guessed it – where point No 2 was. Back we drove again. “Take a left turn here” said Roger, Mo turned …. “NO!” said Pat “You should have turned right. Oh Roger, get it right!” “Oh yes, sorry” said Roger. “What’s the next clue” says I. “Erm …… Rog-e-errrrr, mind where you put your feet”. “Why? I’m nowhere near you”. Next CLUE Pat”. “Erm ……. Roger!!! You’re reading the map wrong!” “I’m NOT!” “You are, you always get it wrong”. “NEXT CLUE PAT!” “Where’s my bag? ROGER where’s my bag? …… oh, it’s under the seat.” “Next clue please.” By this time we had reached point No 4 and Pat and Roger promptly got out of the car clutching the clues – me sitting there, in a state of bewilderment and still none the wiser as to the clue!

Back in the car now for map point 5 and off we went “Take a right here” (Mo) “Where are we going?” “Rog-e-errrrr this isn’t right!” “Errr, well I thought it would lead somewhere else” says Roger (Mo) I’ll have to turn round and go back then.” Suddenly sounding very stressed now, Pat says….”I’ve had enough of this, you’re not doing it right” and the sheet of clues go flying across the car. Mo and I stifle our giggles, Roger says, “It’s not the winning, it’s the taking part” – Silence for a while, then….. “Where’s the clues? Rog-e-errrr, where are they? You’ve got your feet all over them! Give them here!” …. “Take a right just up there Mo”…..

Some time later and many more “Rog-e-errrr’s” we drove past the starting point, for the umpteenth time, and noted that all the cars were back! “Do we have anything filled in the crossword yet?” says I. “It doesn’t fit” says Pat. “Roger! You told me the wrong number and I’ve put it in all wrong now!” “At least we showed our faces” says Roger. It’s not the winning” …….. “Shall we go for a pint” says Mo. “Good idea” says Roger. “Where’s the next map point?” says Pat. This continued, and would have done all night, if we hadn’t suggested we call it a night and go back.

We walked in to loud applause and lots of laughter. Everybody had finished, handed in their answers and were drinking their hot chocolate. It seemed that it was no surprise that we came in last. I wonder why ;O)

It was a great night. Mo and I just gave up any thoughts of even finishing the hunt, let alone winning it! We were left with lots of very funny memories of the evening, and we do love Pat and Roger dearly.

It would be nice to stand a chance of winning the next one but then again, as Roger said “It’s not the winning”…..

Stumble it!