The annual monster march!
I just need to set the scene for you here.
My computer sits in the corner of the room, I sit facing the wall, with my back to the kitchen door, which is about 7ft away. We have a very dark carpet and when Mo goes up she turns off all the lamps, leaving only one small lamp on and my computer screen. As you can imagine it’s not a lot of light for a 24ft lounge with a dark carpet (the dark carpet being the problem) but it’s enough for me most times.
It was about 1am, I was sitting at my computer. Mo had gone to bed and my only company was the cats (again).
I went into the kitchen for something, and when I returned, Mitzi (the hunter) was sitting in front of my computer looking at the floor. She had that look on her face that says “I’m watching you”. I quickly turned on the overhead light and saw the biggest spider ever! Right behind my chair! I had walked past it to go to the kitchen! Probably stepped right over it! Now, I like most creatures, but spiders I HATE. They really give me the creeps. My rate of fear is aligned with the size of the spider, and this one was a MONSTER!
“Don’t just look at it! GET it!” I said to Mitzi. She looked up at me. “Don’t look at me! GET THE SPIDER!” She looked down again but made no attempt at catching it. Now my mind was seeing all eventualities.
- Mitzi gently patting it, making it run somewhere and losing it. I would have been panicking then!
- Mitzi gently patting it so it ran straight for me! BLIND PANIC!
- Mitzi NOT patting it, and just looking at it – all night long! I couldn’t have gone to bed and left that monster in our lounge, Well I could but it’d have to be dead.
I have faith in Mitzi’s spider catching abilities because I have found two dead spiders in our kitchen before, but she was taking too long for me.
I’m sorry spider lovers, but when you have a real fear of something, you can’t possibly think about catching it – ALIVE? And CARRYING IT? Even getting close enough to catch it would send me into terror mode.
I searched for something, anything I could use to kill it. I couldn’t leave the room to get the spider catcher. I would have been too scared to use that anyway. You have to carry it through the house alive! All I could see was a tiny (A5) magazine. I picked it up, walked as close as I could bare to, threw the magazine at the spider, missed the spider and scared Mitzi away!!!! FOR GOODNESS SAKES! Now I had no spider watcher to pat it if IT moved. IT didn’t move, IT wasn’t scared, only me! Actually I think it was scared and playing dead or something, though it was fooling nobody. I grabbed Mitzi, whist keeping my eye on the monster, and put her down next to IT . “Get it Mitzi” I said. Mitzi ran away from the magazine again.
There was nothing for it, I had to be braver. I found the TV magazine, which is a bit bigger, held it in both hands and inched my way closer to IT , shuddering with every step. I not only had to get within a foot of this thing, but down low and personal too! “Do it quickly” I thought.
OH ….. MY….. WHAM!
I did what every good blogger does and got my camera.
I was cropping the photo and, much to my disgust, had a large image of IT on my screen. I don’t mind telling you, even the image was freaking me out. Sukie (the other cat) brushed herself on my legs, I went into a “Oh what’s on me?” panic, shot off my chair, discovered it was Sukie, breathed a nervous sigh of relief, saved the image, cleaned out the rubbish from my photo album and emptied the trash. All in one, jittery, moment.
“Where’s my photo of IT ?” ………. Gone.
You’ll just have to put up with doodles – Aren’t you glad?
Stumble it!
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Jaffer
| 8 October 2009 at 19:02
Oh wow ! I usually get a shoe for anything I want to ‘kill’.
Just this very morning at the crack of dawn, I saw a small fleshy spider crawling up my brother door. So, I grabbed my shoe and hit it.
Bro (From Inside): Come in !
Me: Nope ! It was a spider !
Bro: (Opening door and coming our): What ?
Me: A Spider was crawling on your door. I just killed it (tossing spider into garbage)
Bro: Oh ! Was it as small one.
Me: Yea it was a small grey one.
Bro: That must be the one that spun a web between my toes when I dosing off while on the toilet last night !
Me: (speechless and staring at Bro’s toes).
Barb - WillThink4Wine
| 8 October 2009 at 19:54
My mother has that same phobia. She will wake my Dad from a dead sleep to kill the spider and rescue her like a damsel in distress. One day when they first moved in with me, my Dad was not at home and she came running in to my bedroom hoping her tale of woe would have a similar effect on me. Nope. Not having any of that, thank you. I told her to do what I do and just step on it. You’d have thought I’d told her to slay a dragon with a string.
But I still didn’t get up. And she had to kill it. Herself.
I’m a bad daughter, aren’t I?
Barb – WillThink4Wine´s last blog ..Cold remedy quiz
ann
| 8 October 2009 at 21:45
Well I think maybe I could have handled the situation quite well unless of course the spider had a big toothy grin like that first one up there. Then I think I would have had to run.
ann´s last blog ..The climb
Kathy
| 9 October 2009 at 12:03
Yes, yes, yes! I’m so thankful you didn’t post IT on your blog. I can’t stand to even look at pictures of bugs. Lately I’ve found a lot of bloggers writing about bugs and the put the grossest pictures up with it. I much prefer a doodle bug, but still. Even that freaks me out. I think your cats need to go to Bug Killing Training School. They’re doing it wrong. I’m happy you survived. Buy bigger magazines.
Kathy´s last blog ..Nice Try, Spell Checker
granny grimble
| 9 October 2009 at 13:39
That’s horrific Babs! I am so lucky and blessed that I can call Arthur and he will always come to my rescue (even if in bed). Remember when he was emptying, moving, and filling wardrobes till 3 amm in an effort to catch a bedroom ‘visitor’ ! I am getting better in that I can put a glass over a small to medium spider now.
granny grimble´s last blog ..GOOD NEWS!
beetle
| 9 October 2009 at 14:27
Jaffer: Oh Ha ha! That made me really chuckle
Barb: Was this the mother that wiped poo off your bum when you were dependant on her? Kissed your hurts better? And generally cared for you? Bad, bad daughter
Ann: Hah! A big toothy grin is preferable to me – well maybe not actual teeth!
Kathy: Oh, I promise not to post bug pictures any more without good reason AND warning. I actually don’t mind looking at pictures of them, or even looking at them alive as long as they’re behind glass. It’s when they invade MY home I freak out!
Granny Grimble: I don’t know another person alive that would go to the lengths Arthur does to catch a spider for his wife! You are very fortunate
JD at I Do Things
| 9 October 2009 at 15:58
HA! At least you had good intentions with your photo of IT.
I’m all in favor of gently transporting a wayward creepy-crawly outside and setting it free, alive and well.
But ain’t NO WAY I’m going to pick it up in my own personal hands, even using a roll of paper towels or any other receptacle.
If Gus won’t eat it, I simply put a teacup over it until Dave can deal with it. Works for me!
JD at I Do Things´s last blog ..I Lose Things so you don’t have to
Jude
| 9 October 2009 at 18:54
My SIL was the very same way about spiders, but they don’t bother me unless they are tarantula size. I am a little leery of the brown recluse cause I don’t wanna lose any limbs or get huge sore spots. Bill got bit by one once and his foot swelled up twice the size and he was deathly ill and his groin area still bothers him because the poison traveled all the way up, yuck. I do panic when I see a bat though, scares the crap out of me.
Jude´s last blog ..Bluehost Really Ticked Me Off This Year
Katherine
| 9 October 2009 at 20:09
LOL you are a great writer… a simple subject. Person sees spider, kills spider. But you made an “on the edge of your seat” story out of it… loved it!
Katherine´s last blog ..Quick, It’s The Nun – STOP SMIRKING!
Maureen Vellucci
| 9 October 2009 at 20:12
I’ve given up screaming for hubby…he says if it’s not the size of a baseball he’s not getting up…you were very brave to kill it. Penny, my spoiled money cat, doesn’t bother herself to rid us of anything…she just likes playing with it but becomes bored quickly…
Sandie
| 9 October 2009 at 23:03
Crikey! I thought thet were finished this year. Now I am all jittery again:0(
beetle
| 10 October 2009 at 0:06
JD: It’s OK for you people with husbands who can save the day. Placing a teacup over that giant would have been impossible for me!
Jude: Oh I don’t know what I’d do if our spiders were dangerous! I’m this scared and ours are harmless
Katherine: Thank you for the compliment. It shows you what a big deal a spider is for me
Maureen: It was a choice between killing it and leaving it to come out and frighten me again! No choice!
Sandie: Mo keeps telling me it isn’t over until the end of this month! It’s the first one we’ve had, other than a couple of dead, smaller spiders in the kithen.
BK
| 10 October 2009 at 6:25
I think I can live with the doodles. Thank you for sparing us the photos.
I hope you had a good night sleep without having to worry that the spider still in the lounge. Have a great weekend.
BK´s last blog ..How I Got Into the Wardrobe?
Jaffer
| 10 October 2009 at 8:18
If you are going to leave any bug under something, please let it be transparent.
It’s not funny to lift a tea-cup and not finding anything underneath – but then get a nasty surprise of an eight-legger staring at you from the bottom of the cup !
How the hell is one supposed to get him out then ? I’m going to be bit by another spider ! No sir !
LadyBanana
| 10 October 2009 at 16:01
Ohh that’s horrible!
You do realise though there is usually a partner somewhere not far behind! lol
LadyBanana´s last blog ..Booster Time At The Vet
beetle
| 10 October 2009 at 22:18
BK: Oh yes I did sleep well, thank you. In fact I take my laptop to bed with me now, instead of staying up late on my own
Jaffer: Don’t worry, I wont be trapping any spider under a cup. I have nobody to deal with it later! I’m afraid it’s ‘SPLAT” every time!
LadyBanana: I’m consoling myself with it being single and out on the pull ha ha!
Walter
| 11 October 2009 at 4:20
Good thing you have someone patting it. Spiders are really scary, especially the big ones.
Liudmila
| 11 October 2009 at 10:41
Terrible. The fact about the lose of the photo. I had similar stories with scorpions and a snake. Oh how I understand you!!! In my case, I run to take… a spray for the flyes. The poor creations became headaches. But than I killed them in other modes. I feel bad for those my actions till today.
Liudmila´s last blog ..Le Dejeuner Sur l’Herbe
Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry"
| 12 October 2009 at 1:04
You are very brave to face your fear and kill the spider. Cats are good for finding intruders in the house. My cats always show me where the bugs and flies are and then I kill them. I haven’t noticed them ever actually killing anything, but at least we make a good team!
Karen, author of “My Funny Dad, Harry”´s last blog ..Infarrantly Creative Would Have Been One of Harry’s Favorite Blogs
Swubird
| 12 October 2009 at 16:21
Babs:
We all have our phobias. My Queen is afraid of crickets. I love the little guys. But when it comes to spiders, I feel the exact same way as you do. The only ones I can tolerate are the daddy-long-legs. Black widows are popular on my section of the woods, and ever since I saw a science channel special that showed a black widow under a guys bed clothes, I sleep with one eye open.
Scary post.
Happy trails.
Swubird´s last blog ..BLOOD BROTHERS
Comedy Plus
| 12 October 2009 at 18:52
I’m glad that you didn’t post the picture either. That would have creeped me out more that this post already did. I’m so with you on spiders. Don’t care for them at all. It’s splat and then I say…Better luck next time.
Have a terrific day Babs.
Comedy Plus´s last blog ..Awww…Mondays #34
Lidian
| 12 October 2009 at 20:06
I think I also prefer your drawing to a real photo. I am sure that spiders et al are around more just when the seasons are changing – what I dread are the millipedes (we usually see 1 or 2 which frightens me silly). Our cats (who have caught the odd mouse or two, so they can actually catch things) usually just sit there, just like Mitzi. I think they reckon we are just – entertaining them!
Lidian´s last blog ..Pretty Fly For A Hi-Fi
Jenn Thorson
| 12 October 2009 at 20:16
The doodles are very cute as always. And frankly, I prefer seeing them over Monster Spiders any day.
Jenn Thorson´s last blog ..Wonder Woman and the Lingerie of Doom
beetle
| 12 October 2009 at 21:04
Walter: Ae least she brings our attention to the fact that one is there. If we are luccky she deals with it for us
Liudmila: Oh yes, if we kill them, it should be as quickly as possible for their sakes. I don’t like any creature to suffer.
Karen: Mitzi has killed them before I think. Either that or they have had a sudden heart attack in our kitchen lol.
Swubird: Oh my! If I am this scared of our spiders, what would I be like with the poisonous spiders that you have?
Sandee: Ha ha! What next time?
Lidian: I’ve seen pictures of your millipedes. They are huge aren’t they? Mitzi will catch and kill things we don’t want her to, and the things we would like her to kill she just looks at – typical!
Jenn: I’m glad I lost the photo and had to draw the spider. I realise now that I would have upset too many people with the photo.
meleah rebeccah
| 15 October 2009 at 14:10
I have a severe case of Arachnophobia! I would have DIED!!!! Thank you for NOT posting the REAL photo of the REAL spider!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Meleah’s Week In Review: Filled With Glorious Surprises, And Birthday Parties!
Maureen
| 15 October 2009 at 14:34
Ahahahaha! Ah poor Spidey!!!
Oh yeah, poor Babs too!!!
But yes, if I had the choice betwixt a photo of a splattered fella and the doodle, I would choose the doodle.
Maureen´s last blog ..M.I.A.