The day I almost thumped someone!
When I was in my mid twenties, I joined our company net-ball team. I enjoyed playing as I was quite keen on sports. Companies throughout London, and the surrounding areas, played against each other and made their way up (or down) the league tables.
Being based in the centre of London, our home ground was at Lincoln’s Inn Fields where all the ‘White collar workers‘ would spend their lunch hour during the fine weather.
The net-ball ground was always surrounded by row upon row of little ‘Home Pride’ men as we called them, that had no interest in net-ball whatsoever, but had come to see the young women running around in tiny little skirts and showing their knickers (panties).
Some of the matches wouldn’t be until after we finished work, so the Home Pride men were cheated out of their display. This particular evening, I had just finished a match and was changing my shoes in readiness to go home, when someone approached me and asked if I would join their team as they were a player down. After a days work and already having played a match, I wasn’t too keen, but being the soft touch that I was, I agreed. Wrong decision!
I played goal attach and that’s exactly where they put me. Wrong decision!
I stood and waited for the players to come to their positions and that’s when I saw it…..I saw her! The tallest, most gangling girl I had ever seen, who’s arms were so long that she could easily graze her fingers on the floor as she walked. Her legs were just as long! She was like a walking daddy long legs (that’s a spider with long skinny legs). She made her way up the field and stopped….right next to me! Now for those of you who don’t know, I am 5′1″. When I stood facing her my eyes rested on her navel! This was the girl who would be ‘marking’ me. Well, I was small and nimble so maybe it would be OK.
The whistle sounded and the game started. I moved around waiting for the ball to be passed to me. It was, I caught it, and that’s when daddy long legs moved in, like a spider about to wrap her prey up, trapping it in it’s web. She stood, legs astride, bent over me with her arms wrapped around my body. She left just enough room for it not to be a foul, and just enough room to force me to foul her. I couldn’t move. If I did I would touch her. I moved - “Foul!” She grabbed the ball from me. The game progressed, and every time I caught the ball she repeated her ritual. I couldn’t shoot for goal because she bent over the top of me, I couldn’t pass the ball as I was trapped by her great, gangly arms. It went something like this. I breathed …… Whistle…..”FOUL!” I turned my head…… Whistle…..“FOUL!”…… Whistle….. “FOUL!”…… “FOUL!” “FOUL!” “FOUL!”
I don’t anger easily, I’m usually very placid. I HATED her. I REALLY hated her! I could have punched her quite easily. I’d never felt such hate for a person. I wanted to smash her face in, if I could have reached it (and that makes me feel bad now). She took the sport out of the game. She took the fun out of the game. She took the rules of the game to the extreme and sneakily used them to her advantage. Did I say I hated her? She didn’t even play the game. She did what all spiders do – stood and waited and then came in for the kill! Needless to say we lost!
The captain, who asked if I would fill in for her absent shooter, immediately came and apologized to me for having put me through that ordeal. She couldn’t have known – or did she? Was that why their player hadn’t turned up? Of course it was!
Daddy long legs was probably the most hated player ever!
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